Beautiful Jilliana
UPDATED: Here is Jilliana with her mama, daddy, and 4 of her 5 big sisters!!Jilliana is the one in her mama's arms.
A little girl from Anna Grace's orphanage is meeting her family today. She is only 2 months younger than Anna. She has waited 3 LONG years for a mama and daddy and now in only 4 hours, she will have both a mama and daddy, as well as 5 sisters! I have been looking at the family's blog a lot this week. Because our girls were in the same orphanage and were so close in age, they have a lot of pictures of Jilliana with Anna Grace in them.
Jilliana is on the far left, Anna Grace is right in front of her with blue shoes.
When I look at pictures of Anna in the orphanage my heart literally aches...a true physical reaction. It hurts me to see her face, her expression, her sad, watery eyes. And I wonder, will this feeling ever go away? I mean, I do know that she spent 16 months without me. But I still feel a jolt when I look at those pictures. I look at my daughter, whose face I can read so easily, and I see a sad baby girl. And I want to make that go away. I want to somehow erase that painful past....but I can't. I cannot change the fact that Anna Grace was born to a family who could not keep her, that she spent 16 months in a Chinese orphanage. and while it was a good one as far as orphanages go, it WAS an orphanage. She did not have a mama to love her, to meet her needs, and to teach her what it means to trust. And then I wonder, how does that affect her each day? I know it does. I know it is the reason for why she reacts to things sometimes...and I miss it. I don't see it for what it really is...a hurt child reacting to something based on events she doesn't even consciously remember. Oh Lord, make me sensitive to the needs of my girls who spent so long without a mama and daddy. When I forget that both of them have endured more trauma than I will ever know, prick my heart and hold my tongue. Teach me how to love them. Show me how to teach them to fully trust. And may I never take for granted the precious gift that they are to our family.
My precious Anna Grace Qiu
Pray for sweet Jilliana's heart. She doesn't know how much her family already loves her. This is going to be a painful day for her. I will try to post a picture tomorrow of her with her family.
Jilliana is on the far left, Anna Grace is right in front of her with blue shoes.
My precious Anna Grace QiuPray for sweet Jilliana's heart. She doesn't know how much her family already loves her. This is going to be a painful day for her. I will try to post a picture tomorrow of her with her family.
2 comments:
So true, Shelley. Thinking of your friend's daughter tonight as they continue to get to know their new daughter and she learns what it means to be in a family. It's not an easy transition. And I love your prayer for God to prick your heart and hold your tongue~it is the very one I need right now. Blessings, Petrie
At 17 1/2 months when she joined us, Raegan was close in age to your Anna Grace when she came home. Maybe Raegan's past doesn't impact her to the extent her behavior changes every single day- but I do see where it does often. If the past is any prediction of how she will do in the future, I suspect the way the first 17 1/2 mths of her life impact her will ebb and flow with time. Like you, I hope I never take for granted that even a child adopted very young, is impacted by that time in an orphanage. Blessings, Jennifer
Post a Comment