Adoption...it is in my heart

I found the following on another adoptive mom's blog. It is where my heart is right now. I remember my parents telling me stories of their mission trips to Brazil. I remember the story a friend shared about seeing a little boy sleeping alone on a piece of cardboard on the side of a street and as my friend jogged by, the little boy sat up and began folding the cardboard. I remember saying to him, "That is why I can't go down there. I would never be able to get that child's face out of my mind. I would want to bring him home with me." And I know that was true because I heard that story over 15 years ago and it is still with me. I still think of that faceless child in Brazil who slept on a piece of cardboard all alone. I thought of him when I read the story below. Now I've also been to China and seen the need there. So many children who need a family, so many who sleep alone, cold and hungry... The author of the following story, more than likely has been where most of us have been at one point...fearing the unknown. If God has called us to something, He will hold our hand every step of the way. After we surrender to God and obey his calling on our lives...in any area...., fear is lifted....and many, many blessings flow. Obedience. Trust. Faith. PEACE.

Imagine with me for a minute…

Right now, today… you are small and alone.

You are hungry and lost.

You have no home, no parents, and seemingly no future.

You are scared, and weak, from days without food. You have nowhere to go, nowhere to be.

People walk by you but they don’t even look your way. It’s like you are invisible, nothing.

You keep walking, your feet are bleeding and sore… and yet still you manage to cling to the small bit of hope, the little voice inside your head that says maybe, just maybe, one day things will get better.

Maybe one day -you will matter.

It is getting dark outside- inside your fear is growing.

Where will you go?

Your heart is beating faster, and your fear becomes overwhelming, consuming your every thought.

Then you see it, a dirty, broken cardboard box and you bow your head thanking God for His provision.

For you have found it- shelter.

Safety, if only for one night.

You slip underneath it, hugging yourself, vowing once again not to cry- because by now you know tears are a waste of your strength.

Your eyes become heavy, despite the sweltering temperature.

As you begin to drift off to sleep you pray, hoping, dreaming, of a family of your own one day...

of a place where you will matter...

to someone.


Somewhere else in the world is a family...

They are just sitting down to dinner together.

They are smiling and their laughter fills the room.

Dinner is served and they bow their heads and they pray- thanking God for their many blessings… their home, their job, the food that is set before them.

They lift their heads and go back to the laughter and the joy.

They talk of their upcoming vacation plans, the lunch date they shared with a friend today and the movie they plan to see this coming weekend.

More laughter, more excitement, more.

As the leftovers are scraped into the garbage can and the table is cleaned up, hot bubble bathes are taken by all.

Evening settles in, and the family slips under their down comforters preparing for a good night's sleep.

Before turning out the lights, the husband leans over to kiss his wife good-night. She shyly smiles at him and begins to tell him that she has been feeling that perhaps God is calling them to adopt.

The room grows quiet as they are both lost in their own thoughts… their minds are flooded with questions, concern, and then inevitably -fear.

How could they manage?
Another child?
Why, they already have two!
Where would they put the child?
Who would share a room?
How could they afford to adopt?
Would they be able to take that vacation?
What would people think?
What if the child, you know, caused ‘problems’?

As their eyelids become heavy, they begin to drift off to sleep... and they think to themselves ‘surely not’.

Surely God knows this is not convenient.

Surely God wants them to take that vacation they deserve...

Surely he knows how busy they are.

They have plans and they have dreams.

As sleep overcomes them, the temperature in their master bedroom is perfect… and their pillows are fluffed to perfection.

Life is good for them, just as they had planned...

Anna Grace - 10 months ago in China


Anna Grace - Tonight, at home with her mama

Lord, thank you for changing my heart during our trip to China. May I never forget what I saw while I was there. May I never be caught up in the extravagant life that we enjoy in America. Help me be a light to others considering adoption.

Everyone is healthy!

Okay, so no post over the weekend-- sorry! The Mansfield Family is happy and healthy. Sarah was the only one who got sick and she has been fine since Thursday evening. Thank you, Lord!

So this week is our catch-up week! You know, when you homeschool and a child is sick, a lot of things fall behind. So we are hoping to get our school work caught up, as well as our house! But I am so thankful that my girls are home with me. I count it a privilege to teach them each day.

I would ask that you all be praying for Shawn tomorrow. At 6pm he will defend his dissertation. It should be over by 8pm. He is not nervous at all. I asked him tonight and he said, "What is there to be nervous about? It is just a brief like I give all the time, about information I have been researching for over 2 years. If I can't talk about it, I don't deserve the doctorate."
Well, okay then. I guess that is one way we are vastly different from one another. If it were me I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight! We are so proud of him for working the past 3 years on this degree. Shawn started his doctorate the month before Lauren was diagnosed with Rett Syndrome. And let me tell you, that seems like a lifetime ago! He started in June and Lauren was diagnosed on July 21. I asked him at the time if he thought he should delay school. He didn't want to do that because he knew he would probably never get to it if he stopped. How thankful I am for his wisdom in the midst of the biggest crisis our family has ever faced. He is absolutely right; he would have never gotten back into it. I am thankful for Shawn, for the husband and father that he is and I'm proud of this latest accomplishment. I'll have to share his life story with you all sometime. It is a good one!

Anna Grace is 2

Happy Birthday Precious Girl

We celebrated Anna Grace's birthday this week. The celebration began on Saturday night in Wilmington with her extended family there. She had a party with dancing, games, cupcakes and a pinata. She had a ball! She blew out her candles like a champ and loved munching on her cupcakes, yes two...one with vanilla icing and one with chocolate. When it came time to open her presents she opened the first two and then seemed as if she was finished. Shawn told her there were more and pointed at the other gifts waiting to be opened. Her eyes lit up as if to say, "They are all for ME?" It was so precious. I couldn't help but think of where she was last year on her birthday and how thankful I am that she is home. I cannot imagine what it would be like for her to live in an orphanage for her entire childhood. She is so full of life and joy. And then I can't forget the children that are still there. The precious children who have lived through many birthdays in an orphanage and don't have any concept of life in a family. How I pray that more Christian families will open their hearts and homes to a child who needs a mama and daddy. What a tremendous blessing we would have missed if we had not.

We were home on Tuesday for Anna Grace's actual birthday. We sang to her all day long. People called on the phone and sang all day long. I am sure she wondered why she kept hearing the same song. We gave her a play kitchen and she is loving it! I am so glad we got it for her. She cooks me a hotdog in the microwave every day. The kitchen also has a cordless phone and she loves walking around the house talking on it....I don't know where she learned that! : ) Her daddy maybe??

At the end of the day, we had a two year old in the house and what a joy she is. I am so thankful that I get to be her mama.

Lovin' the cupcakes!

Freeze dancing! She had to get in just the right position every time the music stopped. She should have been "out" many times over.

Cooking time....see that hotdog?

I found Anna in her bedroom lying on this blanket that Michele made for her. I think it is one of her favorite gifts!

We've also had other excitement in the house....Sarah has been sick since Monday night. Today we went to the doctor and she tested positive for Type A flu. They are assuming it is H1N1. Honestly, I am thankful we didn't go to the doctor until today. Tuesday was rough for Sarah but today she was MUCH better. So I am glad we didn't know what we were dealing with until she was on the upswing. If you think of us, pray for Lauren to stay healthy. She is considered high risk due to her diagnosis. Girls with Rett syndrome are predisposed to respiratory problems. Swine flu would not be a good thing for her to fight. Thankfully, I have had Sarah quarantined all week. The little girls have not gotten close to her at all and I am hoping we have done enough.

The Strollathon went well. It rained the day before and poured an hour after it was over...but we only had a couple of small showers during the event. So far we have raised $32,000. We are pleased with that considering the weather and the economy. But we still hope more money comes in . Reasearch is so very expensive and the Rett research going on right now is exciting. Just last week it was announced that doctors are starting the first EVER drug trial on girls. This is the first step to finding a cure! So money for research is needed now more than ever. If you'd like to donate go to www.rettsyndrome.org. Thank you for your prayers and support.

Lauren on her horse in hippotherapy. She has built up the strength to stand unassisted while on the horse's back. She is our super star!

That is our week in review. If life slows down a bit I will try to update more frequently. Ha! Not likely...
Thanks for remembering our sweet Lauren. I'll post an update on Sarah this weekend. We should be in the clear on Monday if no one else has gotten sick.

Happy 9th Birthday Sarah!

My Peanut is 9 years old! I can't believe it! Sarah turned 9 on Tuesday. We celebrated with our immediate family that day. Then today we celebrated with Mimi, Grandy, and Grandma. We started the day with a trip to the National Zoo. It was a perfect zoo day and everyone had a great time. This evening we had cake and ice cream. Sarah and Emily decorated the cake all by themselves. It was beautiful.



Sarah with 2 of her presents this year. She has been trying to master the hamburgers on "Cooking Mama-World Kitchen" all week.

Anna had the best ride at the zoo....Daddy's back! Look at that pretty little face 2 weeks post-op!


My 4 girls with their Great Grandma. I am so glad Grandma was able to come up this weekend. She enjoyed the zoo as much as the girls did. Well, actually, she enjoyed it more than Lauren. Lauren slept through the majority of the zoo. I think she saw the reptile house and then fell asleep.


Mimi brought Sweet Sixteen--Anna's favorite! And for the record, Anna still has stitches at the base of her nose(inside and out)...it's not that her mama isn't cleaning her face.

1 week Post-op

Still loving that baby!


Well, we made it through the first week. Anna Grace hasn't busted open her lip but she has pulled the bow off once and managed to pop a stitch on her nose. Yep, this morning I went to get her out of bed and she only had one stitch in her nose. The other was in the floor. I have no idea how that happened. She had the no-no's on her arms, pinned to her back so she couldn't escape. Her nose looks fine. She managed to get this one out on Day 8 and they can be taken out on Day 10 so I am not too worried. Might as well not be, what can I do? My best guess is that she was on her tummy and rubbed her nose back and forth on her pillow until it came out. Any other guesses out there? I took some new pictures so everyone can see her progress. Her nose is relaxing a bit, which is a good thing. I think it is looking more and more natural. The stitches in her lip are dissolving and we still cannot get in there and clean it up really good. So the yuckiness on her lip? Well, its yuckiness on her lip. Trust me, as soon as her daddy can clean it up, he will be on it!



Sarah took this photo...I think it is one of the best we've gotten since surgery!


Lauren is officially homeschooling now. She has been working on an apple unit this week. She has tasted apples, counted apple seeds, painted apple prints, and tomorrow she is making applesauce. We hope to visit an orchard next week. Lauren has also been reading Ten Red Apples this week but prefers Goodnight Moon. That is the current favorite and she asks Dino to read it several times every day. She is also working on the letter A, counting to 5 and the color red. I love having her home and I think she is happy too. Preschool starts next Thursday but she will only go 2 mornings a week. I think it will be a great balance.

Lauren and Dino during reading time. She turns the pages at just the right time! Her favorite page is "and a quiet old lady who was whispering Hush!"


Making apple prints...this might not look like much but she doesn't really care for crafts. Why would you when your hands don't always do what they are supposed to? But she did really well with this activity.

Our Strollathon is 2 weeks out. We are praying that it will be a successful event and that we will raise lots of money to fund research. Go to www.rettsyndrome.org for more details on this disorder. As always, thank you for your prayers. Lauren continues to do well. She is happy and healthy and we are so thankful that we get to be her parents.

Day 4

Anna Grace continues to improve....and good news, her mama is finally thinking she looks like Anna again! Today her eyes are sparkling and she is full of energy. That is the Anna Grace we know. We kept her home from church because it would have created quite the scene to have her there with the bow on her face. She is too aware of what people are saying to do that to her. So Mama and Anna stayed at home while Daddy took the 3 big girls to church. It was promotion Sunday so we didn't want everyone to miss. While they were gone, we played and I snapped this picture of her rocking in the chair. I even caught the glimmer of a smile. Soon we are going to have all that stuff off her face so we can see the whole thing. I can't wait!

We have our annual fundraiser for Rett Syndrome in just 3 weeks! Would you please consider donating? All money we raise will go to the International Rett Syndrome Foundation to fund research. Rett Syndrome is such an ugly disorder. There is currently no treatment or cure...and it is spontaneously occurring so that means anyone's daughter could be stricken with it. For more information go to www.rettsyndrome.org or e-mail me. I would love to share more with you. Lauren was diagnosed 3 years ago and not a day has passed since that I haven't thought about how wonderful it would be to find a treatment, or better yet, a cure. I have never heard Lauren say "I love you Mama" and she is 5 years old. The very sad thing is, I probably never will...UNLESS researchers find a way to help our girls. They have already found a way to reverse the effects of Rett in mouse models. That gives us great hope that a cure is possible. But it takes so much money to fund the studies. Would you consider helping us? I know this is a hard year to ask for money. But even a $10 donation would help.
This sweet girl is depending on us to help her. Look at her face. I KNOW she has so much she wants to say. I am doing all I can to help make that happen.

Happy Labor Day!

Each day is better

Anna Grace and her baby, who also has a bandage on her face. And yes, that is drool on her chin. I'm not good enough with editing to get rid of that!




Today is our best day yet! Anna Grace is happier and more stubborn, which is totally normal for her! : ) She has played with her toys more today and eaten better so I think she feels pretty much back to normal. And Emily and I both agree she is looking like Anna again. I can't wait for everything to heal and all the swelling to go away so we can see her sweet face. We got some cute pictures today. She has a baby doll that also had an operation on her mouth by Dr. Daddy. You will see that the baby has similar bandages. Anna Grace has been playing with her a lot the past 2 days. This afternoon we had to change the bow. It appeared to be sliding and was pressing into her mouth. Changing it is not a problem; they actually taught us how in the hospital. Its the ripping off by a child that we need to avoid. Thankfully, since Thursday night we haven't had any more incidents like that. But of course, while we had the bow off I took a few pictures. It is still hard to get a real idea of how it will look in 2 months but at least you can see her face. Thanks for all the prayers over the past few days. We are all doing well.

Anna and baby dancing


Anna Grace's 15 minute break with no bow. She is singing! See how irritated her cheeks are? I hated to put it back on....but we did.